Parenting A Child With ADHD

A Mum's Eye View of Parenting a Child with ADHD

ADHD Parenting Tips | I Can’t Cope With My ADHD Child

March 24, 2017 By: admin2 Comments

ADHD Parenting Tips | I Can’t Cope With My ADHD Child – Part 1

Parenting is never easy  – Not for ANY parent (even those parents who seem from the outside like they’re doing everything perfectly and coping really well – yes – even they have problems sometimes!!)!!

 

There are always challenges and we are always learning new things as we go along. Because children don’t come with an instruction manual however much we wish they did!!

 

But when you are parenting a child with ADHD you’re going to need some ADHD parenting tips because there are so many times when you say (or scream) to yourself “I can’t cope with my ADHD child!”

 

It’s a totally different kettle of fish to parenting a non ADHD child!

 

It is totally draining, emotionally and physically.  

 

There are many times when you just wish you could run away and hide.

 

But of course you don’t…

 

…because you know your child needs you…

 

…and you love them so much…

 

…that however frustrated, crazy, angry, disappointed, miserable, run down,drained or exhausted you get because of the daily struggles…

 

…you’re ALWAYS going to do your best for them…

 

…NO MATTER WHAT!!!

 

BUT…

 

And it’s a BIG BUT….

 

YOU ALSO NEED TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF!!

 

Because if you don’t – Who will be there to help your child?

 

As any Air Hostess will tell you you need to put on your own oxygen mask BEFORE you can help others – EVEN YOUR CHILDREN!!

 

Because if YOU run out of oxygen before you finish helping your child you’re no good to them or to anyone else!

 

So you need to gather together some ADHD Parenting tips that work for you and your ADHD child so that you have something to fall back on when you get to that stage where you’re yelling inside your head “I can’t cope with my ADHD child“.

 

And hopefully that is where I can help.

 

ADHD Parenting Tips | I Can’t Cope With My ADHD Child – Parent Survival Video

 

 

I hope todays video has made you realise just how important it is to look after yourself. 

 

Don’t feel guilty for needing some time or space for yourself (yes I know we all feel guilty and selfish for wanting some “me time”) because you’re doing it for your child in the long run. 

 

Remember if you end up ill you can’t help them anyway – better they cope without you for 10 minutes a day than for days on end if you have to go to hospital to recover!

 

I’ll be here for you with more ADHD Parenting Tips in future posts and hopefully I can help you get to the point where you’re hardly ever screaming to yourself “I can’t cope with my ADHD child“!

 

If you got some value from this post please comment below.

 

For more videos please click to visit my Parenting A Child With ADHD Facebook page here.

 

Get answers to all your ADHD Parenting questions and more ADHD Parenting Tips by joining the private facebook Parenting a Child with ADHD support group here.

 

Sending Lots of Love and Hugs because if you’re parenting a child with ADHD you probably need them…

 

Mrs P ( But you can call me Sandra)

x x x 

Sandra Paget February 2017

 

 

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

June 16, 2016 By: admincomment

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

 

Hi there – it’s Mrs P again (but you can call me Sandra) and I’m really sorry that I’ve been a bit lax with my blogging but I’m getting back on track and here we go again!!

 

I guess you’ll have to bear with me there as that’s just part of my ADD and as someone who’s parenting a child with ADHD I’m sure you’ll understand that I get distracted and I don’t always follow through with what I should do so here we go again with the blogging!!

 

Apart from the fact I had to have a minor operation and I also caught a very nasty bug which completely floored me, one of the reasons I’ve not found the time to blog is that we are dealing with a new challenge in our house…

 

BUT this one is a FUN CHALLENGE with TONS OF REWARDS…

 

…great for anyone and especially those with ADHD or ADD, because as you know we NEED REWARDS to remain motivated.

 

So stop rambling Sandra (another ADD/ADHD trait) and let’s get to the point!!

 

Let me tell you all about Alfie…

http://www.parentingachildwithadhd.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Parenting-a-child-with-ADHD-Can-a-Dog-help-a-child-with-ADHD-Alfie-chewing-ball.mp4

 

(more video footage below)

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

 

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably forever searching for different ways to help you and your child deal with the struggles of living with ADHD.

 

And in my search, a little while ago, I heard somewhere that dogs can be really good for people with ADHD and so I read a few articles online and did a bit of research….

 

but I didn’t take it any further as there was no way that we could have a dog.

 

Here’s a quote from one of the articles showing how having a dog can help a child and/or family with ADHD or ADD and make parenting a child with ADHD a little easier:-
.

“Here are a few ways that kids caring for their pet can help them with learning to manage their ADD:

 

• A pet can teach a child with ADHD to schedule and plan ahead. Pets require a schedule for feeding, walking, bathing etc. Once your child becomes accustomed to following the pet’s schedule, it will be easier for him to follow a schedule for homework, chores or extra-curricular activities.

 

• If your child has lots of excess energy, playing with a pet can help with that. Your child can burn off energy walking a dog or running around with a kitten, making her more relaxed later in the day.

 

• Kids with ADHD are used to their parents trying to calm them down or reprimanding them. A pet offers unconditional love and will not criticize a child for having too much energy. Animals are great listeners and can build up a child’s self-confidence.

 

• Child psychiatrists may use pets in therapy with ADHD children. For instance, dogs can be used to teach behavioral modification techniques to the children and their parents.

 

• Trying to live up to other people’s expectations despite the difficulty can put stress on your child. Petting an animal or even just sitting near one can reduce stress.

 

• Children with ADHD may have difficulties with social interaction. When your child plays outside with a pet, other kids will automatically want to join in. When you invite a child to your home for a playdate, the pet is a great icebreaker.

 

• Outdoor exercise can be extremely beneficial to kids with ADHD. Fresh air and good circulation from aerobic exercise increases oxygen-filled blood flow to a child’s brain. If your child walks her dog in the morning before school she will have an easier time concentrating in the classroom.”

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You can find the full article here and it’s a great blog about ADHD! 

 

Now we’ve always been a family who like pets and I had my wonderful cat Bingo over 17 years until sadly he had to be sent across the rainbow bridge to the forever playground in the sky as he was very poorly and in too much pain.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD - Bingo Cat

 

I cried my heart out for days….Bingo had been my rock for 17 years and helped me through many struggles in life. He was the longest stable thing in my life. I even wrote a poem about my poor baby Bingo.

 

The house felt empty and cold….

 

So we decided to get a couple of kittens Dusty and Coco. Unfortunately that didn’t go so well.

 

My husband didn’t get on with the kittens so we had to find them a lovely new home and it made us all very sad (except for Graham) even though we’re able to visit them at their new place and they have a big and interesting garden and lots of space – much more than they had here.

 

Once again we had a pet free home.

 

So there I was looking around as usual researching more about ADHD and again I came across this article about how owning dogs can help people with ADHD and bearing in mind that I have ADD and I know Marissa has ADHD, I thought it might be good for us too.

 

Call me a big kid but I’ve always wanted to have a dog of my own, ever since we had to give away our dog Benjie when I was a child.

 

Now my husband Graham has always been a dog person so having a great reason to get a dog (which would also help with my ADD and Marissa’s ADHD) was music to my ears.

 

My brain started tick, tick ticking…..

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

 

Now as a parent of a child with ADHD you’ll know that when one of us with ADD or ADHD gets something in their mind that they’re really keen on or really want enough we turn on our hyperfocus mode and activate our determination to solve the problem in hand!

 

There were many reasons why we hadn’t got a puppy so far.

 

The first one being puppies are expensive and so I had to get the girls on side.

 

It was a big ask but I knew how much they really really wanted a puppy.

 

So we made a deal with Daddy ….the three of us wouldn’t have birthday presents this year if we could get a puppy!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD no presents

And I even got them to agree that we’d be happy not to have a holiday this year if we had a puppy.

 

But that wasn’t the only obstacle to us getting a puppy….

 

You can’t leave a puppy at home all day on his own without anyone to let him out for a pee.

 

And although I work part-time it’s really almost full time and it’s certainly far too long a day for a puppy to be sitting at home crossing his cute little legs!

 

We had no one who could come round to take him out for a walk at lunch time so he would be able to have a pee half way through the day.

 

And my 30 minute lunch breaks weren’t long enough to come home and take a dog out for a walk and still get back to work again on time.

 

Luckily for us my employers are very kind and flexible and they believe in a good work/life balance.

 

So I put in a request to extend my 30 minute lunch breaks to one hour and work later on my short days to make up the time.

 

I was really nervous waiting for the answer because I was so excited to get a puppy.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD anxious waiting

They already know about my ADD and I explained that I wanted to do it to help Marissa’s ADHD and luckily they came up trumps and SAID YES to my request.

 

HOORAY!!

 

I was so excited – so now I was able to put it all to Graham as a feasible suggestion….

 

I wondered – would Graham really go for it?

 

 

To my surprise he agreed!! He too thought it would be good for Marissa.

 

And so it was ACTION STATIONS!!!

 

We have a neighbour who has a cute little dog called Bella and we all love her to bits and we always said we’d like a dog like her.

 

She’s a Cavapoo – a cross between a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and a Poodle.

 

Cavapoo’s are a great combination of cute and fluffy, very affectionate with a great temperament to be around children, not too big so not too hard for the girls to take for a walk and the added bonus for Mummy that they don’t shed hair!!

 

So now I was on a mission.  Where to find a Cavapoo puppy?.

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I did a few internet searches but there weren’t any breeders close to me and I was a bit wary of some of these pets for sale website worrying that some of them would be used by puppy farmers (whose puppies are often diseased or maltreated and who are only in it for the money).

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD - pets4homes

 

 

Then I came across this website called Pets for Homes (you can find it here) and there was a facility on there for people to report sellers if they weren’t following the rules and caring for the welfare of their dogs and puppies.

 

I felt that if you could report people who weren’t acting in the best interests of the puppies that there was less likelihood of puppy farmers using the site so I started to look through.

 

The way the ads were set out it was really easy to judge whether a breeder was experienced by the description they gave of the puppies and also it displayed the person’s join date.

 


The more experienced and caring ones had a list of things they gave along with the puppies eg a mummy smelling blanket, toys, food, first flea and worm treatments.

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD puppy toys


Most of them were offering them with their first vaccinations and microchips as it was just coming to the date when it would be illegal in the UK to sell them without a chip.

 

I kept looking through comparing the ones within a reasonable travelling distance and I phoned a couple with no real success.

 

The first one I phoned didn’t reply – not a good sign and the second one was having other people around and wouldn’t wait until we were off work to go and visit.

 

And somehow I didn’t have a great feeling about any of them so I put down the laptop and gave up.

 

Then about 2 hours later – I don’t know why but my gut told me to have just one last look before bed and when I looked there was an ad for 3 cavapoo boys, very locally to us (quite near my old High School) and with all the goodies and equipment the breeder was offering and from the way the ad was worded it JUST FELT RIGHT!!!

 

I was so excited that I forgot how late it was and sent a text immediately!! And luckily I didn’t wake Debbie (the breeder) as she also replied immediately.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD text late

 

Graham and I had the following Thursday off so I arranged to go round straight away!!

 


There was a tiny snag….they were in the more expensive range on the price front and I knew Graham didn’t really want to pay that much but when I told him the next day I sweetened it by reminding him we were happy to forego our annual holiday if necessary!

 

And I reminded him that if we mistakenly ended up with a puppy farm dog it could be unhealthy and could end up just as expensive or more from vet bills to make him better.

 

He agreed to go and see them, knowing full well that we’d end up falling in love with them…

 

I was so EXCITED,,,,I wanted to go there NOW!!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD man looking at watch

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As with any ADD or ADHD person, waiting until Thursday seemed like FOREVER away…

 

So we filled up the time trying to think of names and doing internet searches to get ideas.

 

From the pictures, the one I liked was black but there was also a black and white one and a tri-colour.

 

 

Before we went we found out the black and white one had already gone so it was looking like the black one was the next favourite and we were the next people viewing.

 

The girls were coming out with lots of weird outlandish names – probably from their video games but I couldn’t see myself calling any of them out in the park to get him to come back LOL!!

.
Graham wanted to call him Sootie but I wasn’t that keen on that either as I’d had a female rabbit called Sootie as a child and it just didn’t fit for me.

 

Then out of the blue, Sabrina had a burst of inspiration and suggested “Alfie”!!

 

That was it!

 

We all agreed before we’d even met him that he’d be called Alfie.

 

When we met him Alfie was a really cute, cuddly ball of fluff and he was docile and friendly and we all fell in love with him.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD Alfie first photo

He had a cute little white patch on his chest so wasn’t totally black after all.

 

We were sad to leave him behind that day but he wasn’t yet old enough to leave his Mummy and we had some doggy equipment we needed to go and buy.

 

Debbie gave us a list of things to buy and also was very helpful with advice on where to buy and my poor Parents had the job of receiving all my amazon parcels over the following week as I work so am not home to receive parcels!! (Sorry Mum & Dad).

 

Anyway – long story short we collected Alfie the following week and we were just so very happy.

 


We collected him Saturday morning and then the hard work began!!

 

Potty Training for Pups!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD puppy potty training

To start with we couldn’t take him out for walks as he hadn’t had his full set of jabs but we took him down to our vet and got him weighed and registered on their puppy plan.

 

And I got quotes for insurance.

 

There were still plenty of puddles to clean up but luckily we have a laminate floor and Alfie is getting better and better at control and learning that he gets a treat and cuddles for doing his business outside instead of inside.

 

 

We also had a lot of tips from Debbie and she is always at the end of the phone if we need advice or help.

 

 

Alfie is a lot of hard work but he’s really great fun.

 

 

My routine has changed completely and I’m now much better at getting out of bed in the mornings as my first job of the day is Alfie’s morning walk.

 

 

I take him out at 5am and yes that’s early but I find it easier to do as I’m doing it for Alfie.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD 5am


And I know he’s expecting me at the same time every day.

 


So yes my routine is better.

 

The girls also now have more freedom and responsibility as I now let them take him for walks without me.

 

 

We all get more exercise and more outdoors nature time.

 


And tons and tons of Love and cuddles from Alfie.

 

The routine is not yet perfect but it’s much better than it was and I’m going to draw up an Alfie Rota so that we all know what needs to be done every day and also so that we know if someone has already done it eg feed him lunch….after all we don’t want him getting fat!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD rota

 

I’m not sure yet if it’s helping Marissa with her ADHD but my Dad says it’s already working with me and that I’m much calmer these days.

 

 

I guess we will “watch this space” and see how things go.

 

 

So as ever I’ve gone on long enough so I’m signing off for today and I’ll see you next time…I promise it won’t be as long before the next blog!

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and you enjoy the article about how having a dog could help you with parenting your child with ADHD.

 

 

Check out my facebook page here, or you can friend request and message me on my personal page here. (best to friend request me first or it might get filtered).

 

 

Signing off for now but please share your thoughts below – I promise to respond to all comments.

 

Please also share this post with anyone you think it may help.

 

Sending you love and hugs ….because if you are parenting a child with ADHD you probably need them!!


Mrs P (Sandra)

 Parenting a Child with ADHD - Sandra Graham Marissa & Sabrina 20150805_192755

http://www.parentingachildwithadhd.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Parenting-a-child-with-ADHD-Can-a-Dog-help-a-child-with-ADHD-Alfie-chewing-ball.mp4

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Something Wonderful

April 8, 2016 By: admin8 Comments

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Something Wonderful

 

Hello Again – Mrs P here (but you can call me Sandra).

 

Just a quick diversion today from the signs and symptoms you may notice as you strive onwards and upwards in your journey of parenting a child with ADHD.

 

A bit of Light relief, shall we call it?

 

Because something very wonderful happened last night.

 

And it may not seem wonderful to everyone but it was to me.

 

Yesterday another lovely Mum from Canada saw my facebook page and via that page she read this blog.

 

She too has been facing the challenge of bringing up a child with ADHD with very little if any outside support…

 

…makes me wonder if it’s the same in every country?

 

final pile of cards background removed

 

In any case she sent me this lovely message and it may resonate with you too…

 

“Hi, I saw your page and read your blog. I wish I was crafty enough to write a blog. I have a son who is 6 and he has adhd, sensory processing disorder and anxiety. My days are colourful to say the least. There are so many struggles….. my number one complaint is the fact that there is slim to no support for this little man, unless I pay out of pocket, and let’s face it, my last lottery ticket didn’t win. Again. I have never loved, and despised the same human in my life as much as I do my son, not so much him, but the adhd he has. My heart breaks for his struggles, every day. I hurt for the way he is and what he deals with at school, the parents that look at me like I’m an asshole because I have ‘that kid’, yet they don’t know him like I do. They don’t know that he cries real tears. Anyhow, I’m just ranting now, but it was nice to see your blog.”

 

It really touched my heart and I had a chat with her afterwards and she also shared these 2 lovely poems which also made me cry….

 

…and each time I read them I cry again.

 

Because they say everything there is to say and they convey all that it means both to have ADHD and to be parenting a child with ADHD.

 Parenting a Child with ADHD, Something beautiful

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Something Wonderful

 

I asked her permission before sharing as I thought these poems would help other mum’s too who are struggling with the challenges of parenting a child with ADHD.

 

Here’s the first one – I hope you like them…

 

Take My Hand

Take My Hand Take my hand and come with me
I want to teach you about ADHD
I need you to know, I want to explain,
I have a very different brain
Sights sounds and thoughts collide
What to do first? I can’t decide
Please understand I’m not to blame
I just can’t process things the same

Take my hand and walk with me
Let me show you about ADHD
I try to behave, I want to be good
But I sometimes forget to do as I should
Walk with me and wear my shoes
You’ll see its not the way I’d choose
I do know what I’m supposed to do
But my brain is slow getting the message through

Take my hand and talk with me
I want to tell you about ADHD
I rarely think before I talk
I often run when I should walk
It’s hard to get my school work done
My thoughts are outside having fun
I never know just where to start
I think with my feelings and see with my heart

Take my hand and stand by me
I need you to know about ADHD
It’s hard to explain but I want you to know
I can’t help letting my feelings show
Sometimes I’m angry, jealous or sad
I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and mad
I can’t concentrate and I loose all my stuff
I try really hard but it’s never enough

Take my hand and learn with me
We need to know more about ADHD
I worry a lot about getting things wrong
Everything I do takes twice as long
Everyday is exhausting for me
Looking through the fog of ADHD
I’m often so misunderstood
I would change in a heartbeat if I could

Take my hand and listen to me
I want to share a secret about ADHD
I want you to know there is more to me
I’m not defined by it you see
I’m sensitive, kind and lots of fun
I’m blamed for things I haven’t done
I’m the loyalist friend you’ll ever know
I just need a chance to let it show.

Take my hand and look at me 
Just forget about the ADHD
I have real feelings just like you 

The love in my heart is just as true 
I may have a brain that can never rest 
But please understand I’m trying my best 
I want you to know, I need you to see 
I’m more than the label, I am still me!!!!

By Andrea Chesterman-Smith

 

As someone who also suffers from ADD as well as being someone who is parenting a child with ADHD, I really can feel that these words mean so much.

 

And they also meant a huge amount to my new friend.

 Parenting a child with ADHD, Something Wonderful

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Something Wonderful

 

Here’s the second one – it’s about having an ADHD son (I have a daughter) but it could apply to both sexes….

 

My ADHD Child

He’s bouncin’ off walls, a super ball gone insane,
He runs through your world like an off-rail freight train,
Interruptions are constant, tantrums galore,
When it’s time to do homework, he’s gone, out the door.
The drama is constant, oh his foot fell asleep,
He moans and he wails, the theatrics run deep,
School is a nightmare, the teachers are lost,
If they only could see, he is worth the cost.
 
He is brighter than most, as most kids are,
And with patience and love, I know he’ll go far,
But what I must take from well meaning friends
Don’t let him do that. Oh these rules that he bends.
You’re not a good parent. Your child’s really rude.
His temper’s Outrageous. He has hands in his food.
He hears this and wonders, just what’s wrong with me?
I tell him, You’re special, you have A.D.H.D.

Now A.D.H.D. is a gift from above,
It teaches us grown-ups how to strengthen our love.
It helps to teach your teachers, no two kids are the same.
You have awesome energy that could bring you great fame.
You don’t need much sleep, you never wear down.
You’re silly and funny, when you act like a clown.
You’ve felt lots of pain from what people have said,
But you pray for those people when you go to bed.

So you try every day to make a fresh start,
For God gifted you with an extra big heart.
As I look at my child, he sees through my soul,
My heart feels like busting, as I realize my goal.
I know this boy like no one else could,
He’s a blessing to me, he’s strong and he’s good.
So I’ll love him and guide him through the worst of the worst,
And he’ll make a great man (if I don’t kill him first).

I’m kidding of course ’cause I know what’s to be,
When I look in his eyes, I see a reflection of me.

by Tracy Nicolous

 

I’d love to hear your comments below on these 2 beautiful poems…

 

…and I want to say A HUGE THANK YOU to Sandra (yes, coincidentally we have the same name!!) for connecting with me and sending these beautiful poems that I am sure will bring some comfort and a smile (or maybe like me a tear or 20!!) to others parenting a child with ADHD.

 Parenting a Child with ADHD, Something Wonderful

 

Check out my facebook page here, or you can friend request and message me on my personal page here.

 

Signing off for now but please share your thoughts below – I promise to respond to all comments.

 

Please also share this post with anyone you think it may help.

 

Sending you love and hugs ….because if you are parenting a child with ADHD you probably need them!!

 

 

Mrs P (Sandra)

mum in garden final background removed

 

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