Parenting A Child With ADHD

A Mum's Eye View of Parenting a Child with ADHD

ADHD Parenting Tips | I Can’t Cope With My ADHD Child

March 24, 2017 By: admin2 Comments

ADHD Parenting Tips | I Can’t Cope With My ADHD Child – Part 1

Parenting is never easy  – Not for ANY parent (even those parents who seem from the outside like they’re doing everything perfectly and coping really well – yes – even they have problems sometimes!!)!!

 

There are always challenges and we are always learning new things as we go along. Because children don’t come with an instruction manual however much we wish they did!!

 

But when you are parenting a child with ADHD you’re going to need some ADHD parenting tips because there are so many times when you say (or scream) to yourself “I can’t cope with my ADHD child!”

 

It’s a totally different kettle of fish to parenting a non ADHD child!

 

It is totally draining, emotionally and physically.  

 

There are many times when you just wish you could run away and hide.

 

But of course you don’t…

 

…because you know your child needs you…

 

…and you love them so much…

 

…that however frustrated, crazy, angry, disappointed, miserable, run down,drained or exhausted you get because of the daily struggles…

 

…you’re ALWAYS going to do your best for them…

 

…NO MATTER WHAT!!!

 

BUT…

 

And it’s a BIG BUT….

 

YOU ALSO NEED TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF!!

 

Because if you don’t – Who will be there to help your child?

 

As any Air Hostess will tell you you need to put on your own oxygen mask BEFORE you can help others – EVEN YOUR CHILDREN!!

 

Because if YOU run out of oxygen before you finish helping your child you’re no good to them or to anyone else!

 

So you need to gather together some ADHD Parenting tips that work for you and your ADHD child so that you have something to fall back on when you get to that stage where you’re yelling inside your head “I can’t cope with my ADHD child“.

 

And hopefully that is where I can help.

 

ADHD Parenting Tips | I Can’t Cope With My ADHD Child – Parent Survival Video

 

 

I hope todays video has made you realise just how important it is to look after yourself. 

 

Don’t feel guilty for needing some time or space for yourself (yes I know we all feel guilty and selfish for wanting some “me time”) because you’re doing it for your child in the long run. 

 

Remember if you end up ill you can’t help them anyway – better they cope without you for 10 minutes a day than for days on end if you have to go to hospital to recover!

 

I’ll be here for you with more ADHD Parenting Tips in future posts and hopefully I can help you get to the point where you’re hardly ever screaming to yourself “I can’t cope with my ADHD child“!

 

If you got some value from this post please comment below.

 

For more videos please click to visit my Parenting A Child With ADHD Facebook page here.

 

Get answers to all your ADHD Parenting questions and more ADHD Parenting Tips by joining the private facebook Parenting a Child with ADHD support group here.

 

Sending Lots of Love and Hugs because if you’re parenting a child with ADHD you probably need them…

 

Mrs P ( But you can call me Sandra)

x x x 

Sandra Paget February 2017

 

 

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

June 16, 2016 By: admincomment

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

 

Hi there – it’s Mrs P again (but you can call me Sandra) and I’m really sorry that I’ve been a bit lax with my blogging but I’m getting back on track and here we go again!!

 

I guess you’ll have to bear with me there as that’s just part of my ADD and as someone who’s parenting a child with ADHD I’m sure you’ll understand that I get distracted and I don’t always follow through with what I should do so here we go again with the blogging!!

 

Apart from the fact I had to have a minor operation and I also caught a very nasty bug which completely floored me, one of the reasons I’ve not found the time to blog is that we are dealing with a new challenge in our house…

 

BUT this one is a FUN CHALLENGE with TONS OF REWARDS…

 

…great for anyone and especially those with ADHD or ADD, because as you know we NEED REWARDS to remain motivated.

 

So stop rambling Sandra (another ADD/ADHD trait) and let’s get to the point!!

 

Let me tell you all about Alfie…

http://www.parentingachildwithadhd.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Parenting-a-child-with-ADHD-Can-a-Dog-help-a-child-with-ADHD-Alfie-chewing-ball.mp4

 

(more video footage below)

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

 

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably forever searching for different ways to help you and your child deal with the struggles of living with ADHD.

 

And in my search, a little while ago, I heard somewhere that dogs can be really good for people with ADHD and so I read a few articles online and did a bit of research….

 

but I didn’t take it any further as there was no way that we could have a dog.

 

Here’s a quote from one of the articles showing how having a dog can help a child and/or family with ADHD or ADD and make parenting a child with ADHD a little easier:-
.

“Here are a few ways that kids caring for their pet can help them with learning to manage their ADD:

 

• A pet can teach a child with ADHD to schedule and plan ahead. Pets require a schedule for feeding, walking, bathing etc. Once your child becomes accustomed to following the pet’s schedule, it will be easier for him to follow a schedule for homework, chores or extra-curricular activities.

 

• If your child has lots of excess energy, playing with a pet can help with that. Your child can burn off energy walking a dog or running around with a kitten, making her more relaxed later in the day.

 

• Kids with ADHD are used to their parents trying to calm them down or reprimanding them. A pet offers unconditional love and will not criticize a child for having too much energy. Animals are great listeners and can build up a child’s self-confidence.

 

• Child psychiatrists may use pets in therapy with ADHD children. For instance, dogs can be used to teach behavioral modification techniques to the children and their parents.

 

• Trying to live up to other people’s expectations despite the difficulty can put stress on your child. Petting an animal or even just sitting near one can reduce stress.

 

• Children with ADHD may have difficulties with social interaction. When your child plays outside with a pet, other kids will automatically want to join in. When you invite a child to your home for a playdate, the pet is a great icebreaker.

 

• Outdoor exercise can be extremely beneficial to kids with ADHD. Fresh air and good circulation from aerobic exercise increases oxygen-filled blood flow to a child’s brain. If your child walks her dog in the morning before school she will have an easier time concentrating in the classroom.”

.

You can find the full article here and it’s a great blog about ADHD! 

 

Now we’ve always been a family who like pets and I had my wonderful cat Bingo over 17 years until sadly he had to be sent across the rainbow bridge to the forever playground in the sky as he was very poorly and in too much pain.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD - Bingo Cat

 

I cried my heart out for days….Bingo had been my rock for 17 years and helped me through many struggles in life. He was the longest stable thing in my life. I even wrote a poem about my poor baby Bingo.

 

The house felt empty and cold….

 

So we decided to get a couple of kittens Dusty and Coco. Unfortunately that didn’t go so well.

 

My husband didn’t get on with the kittens so we had to find them a lovely new home and it made us all very sad (except for Graham) even though we’re able to visit them at their new place and they have a big and interesting garden and lots of space – much more than they had here.

 

Once again we had a pet free home.

 

So there I was looking around as usual researching more about ADHD and again I came across this article about how owning dogs can help people with ADHD and bearing in mind that I have ADD and I know Marissa has ADHD, I thought it might be good for us too.

 

Call me a big kid but I’ve always wanted to have a dog of my own, ever since we had to give away our dog Benjie when I was a child.

 

Now my husband Graham has always been a dog person so having a great reason to get a dog (which would also help with my ADD and Marissa’s ADHD) was music to my ears.

 

My brain started tick, tick ticking…..

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD?

 

Now as a parent of a child with ADHD you’ll know that when one of us with ADD or ADHD gets something in their mind that they’re really keen on or really want enough we turn on our hyperfocus mode and activate our determination to solve the problem in hand!

 

There were many reasons why we hadn’t got a puppy so far.

 

The first one being puppies are expensive and so I had to get the girls on side.

 

It was a big ask but I knew how much they really really wanted a puppy.

 

So we made a deal with Daddy ….the three of us wouldn’t have birthday presents this year if we could get a puppy!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD no presents

And I even got them to agree that we’d be happy not to have a holiday this year if we had a puppy.

 

But that wasn’t the only obstacle to us getting a puppy….

 

You can’t leave a puppy at home all day on his own without anyone to let him out for a pee.

 

And although I work part-time it’s really almost full time and it’s certainly far too long a day for a puppy to be sitting at home crossing his cute little legs!

 

We had no one who could come round to take him out for a walk at lunch time so he would be able to have a pee half way through the day.

 

And my 30 minute lunch breaks weren’t long enough to come home and take a dog out for a walk and still get back to work again on time.

 

Luckily for us my employers are very kind and flexible and they believe in a good work/life balance.

 

So I put in a request to extend my 30 minute lunch breaks to one hour and work later on my short days to make up the time.

 

I was really nervous waiting for the answer because I was so excited to get a puppy.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD anxious waiting

They already know about my ADD and I explained that I wanted to do it to help Marissa’s ADHD and luckily they came up trumps and SAID YES to my request.

 

HOORAY!!

 

I was so excited – so now I was able to put it all to Graham as a feasible suggestion….

 

I wondered – would Graham really go for it?

 

 

To my surprise he agreed!! He too thought it would be good for Marissa.

 

And so it was ACTION STATIONS!!!

 

We have a neighbour who has a cute little dog called Bella and we all love her to bits and we always said we’d like a dog like her.

 

She’s a Cavapoo – a cross between a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and a Poodle.

 

Cavapoo’s are a great combination of cute and fluffy, very affectionate with a great temperament to be around children, not too big so not too hard for the girls to take for a walk and the added bonus for Mummy that they don’t shed hair!!

 

So now I was on a mission.  Where to find a Cavapoo puppy?.

.
I did a few internet searches but there weren’t any breeders close to me and I was a bit wary of some of these pets for sale website worrying that some of them would be used by puppy farmers (whose puppies are often diseased or maltreated and who are only in it for the money).

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Can a Dog Help a Child with ADHD - pets4homes

 

 

Then I came across this website called Pets for Homes (you can find it here) and there was a facility on there for people to report sellers if they weren’t following the rules and caring for the welfare of their dogs and puppies.

 

I felt that if you could report people who weren’t acting in the best interests of the puppies that there was less likelihood of puppy farmers using the site so I started to look through.

 

The way the ads were set out it was really easy to judge whether a breeder was experienced by the description they gave of the puppies and also it displayed the person’s join date.

 


The more experienced and caring ones had a list of things they gave along with the puppies eg a mummy smelling blanket, toys, food, first flea and worm treatments.

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD puppy toys


Most of them were offering them with their first vaccinations and microchips as it was just coming to the date when it would be illegal in the UK to sell them without a chip.

 

I kept looking through comparing the ones within a reasonable travelling distance and I phoned a couple with no real success.

 

The first one I phoned didn’t reply – not a good sign and the second one was having other people around and wouldn’t wait until we were off work to go and visit.

 

And somehow I didn’t have a great feeling about any of them so I put down the laptop and gave up.

 

Then about 2 hours later – I don’t know why but my gut told me to have just one last look before bed and when I looked there was an ad for 3 cavapoo boys, very locally to us (quite near my old High School) and with all the goodies and equipment the breeder was offering and from the way the ad was worded it JUST FELT RIGHT!!!

 

I was so excited that I forgot how late it was and sent a text immediately!! And luckily I didn’t wake Debbie (the breeder) as she also replied immediately.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD text late

 

Graham and I had the following Thursday off so I arranged to go round straight away!!

 


There was a tiny snag….they were in the more expensive range on the price front and I knew Graham didn’t really want to pay that much but when I told him the next day I sweetened it by reminding him we were happy to forego our annual holiday if necessary!

 

And I reminded him that if we mistakenly ended up with a puppy farm dog it could be unhealthy and could end up just as expensive or more from vet bills to make him better.

 

He agreed to go and see them, knowing full well that we’d end up falling in love with them…

 

I was so EXCITED,,,,I wanted to go there NOW!!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD man looking at watch

.#
As with any ADD or ADHD person, waiting until Thursday seemed like FOREVER away…

 

So we filled up the time trying to think of names and doing internet searches to get ideas.

 

From the pictures, the one I liked was black but there was also a black and white one and a tri-colour.

 

 

Before we went we found out the black and white one had already gone so it was looking like the black one was the next favourite and we were the next people viewing.

 

The girls were coming out with lots of weird outlandish names – probably from their video games but I couldn’t see myself calling any of them out in the park to get him to come back LOL!!

.
Graham wanted to call him Sootie but I wasn’t that keen on that either as I’d had a female rabbit called Sootie as a child and it just didn’t fit for me.

 

Then out of the blue, Sabrina had a burst of inspiration and suggested “Alfie”!!

 

That was it!

 

We all agreed before we’d even met him that he’d be called Alfie.

 

When we met him Alfie was a really cute, cuddly ball of fluff and he was docile and friendly and we all fell in love with him.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD Alfie first photo

He had a cute little white patch on his chest so wasn’t totally black after all.

 

We were sad to leave him behind that day but he wasn’t yet old enough to leave his Mummy and we had some doggy equipment we needed to go and buy.

 

Debbie gave us a list of things to buy and also was very helpful with advice on where to buy and my poor Parents had the job of receiving all my amazon parcels over the following week as I work so am not home to receive parcels!! (Sorry Mum & Dad).

 

Anyway – long story short we collected Alfie the following week and we were just so very happy.

 


We collected him Saturday morning and then the hard work began!!

 

Potty Training for Pups!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD puppy potty training

To start with we couldn’t take him out for walks as he hadn’t had his full set of jabs but we took him down to our vet and got him weighed and registered on their puppy plan.

 

And I got quotes for insurance.

 

There were still plenty of puddles to clean up but luckily we have a laminate floor and Alfie is getting better and better at control and learning that he gets a treat and cuddles for doing his business outside instead of inside.

 

 

We also had a lot of tips from Debbie and she is always at the end of the phone if we need advice or help.

 

 

Alfie is a lot of hard work but he’s really great fun.

 

 

My routine has changed completely and I’m now much better at getting out of bed in the mornings as my first job of the day is Alfie’s morning walk.

 

 

I take him out at 5am and yes that’s early but I find it easier to do as I’m doing it for Alfie.

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD 5am


And I know he’s expecting me at the same time every day.

 


So yes my routine is better.

 

The girls also now have more freedom and responsibility as I now let them take him for walks without me.

 

 

We all get more exercise and more outdoors nature time.

 


And tons and tons of Love and cuddles from Alfie.

 

The routine is not yet perfect but it’s much better than it was and I’m going to draw up an Alfie Rota so that we all know what needs to be done every day and also so that we know if someone has already done it eg feed him lunch….after all we don’t want him getting fat!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - can a dog help a child with ADHD rota

 

I’m not sure yet if it’s helping Marissa with her ADHD but my Dad says it’s already working with me and that I’m much calmer these days.

 

 

I guess we will “watch this space” and see how things go.

 

 

So as ever I’ve gone on long enough so I’m signing off for today and I’ll see you next time…I promise it won’t be as long before the next blog!

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and you enjoy the article about how having a dog could help you with parenting your child with ADHD.

 

 

Check out my facebook page here, or you can friend request and message me on my personal page here. (best to friend request me first or it might get filtered).

 

 

Signing off for now but please share your thoughts below – I promise to respond to all comments.

 

Please also share this post with anyone you think it may help.

 

Sending you love and hugs ….because if you are parenting a child with ADHD you probably need them!!


Mrs P (Sandra)

 Parenting a Child with ADHD - Sandra Graham Marissa & Sabrina 20150805_192755

http://www.parentingachildwithadhd.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Parenting-a-child-with-ADHD-Can-a-Dog-help-a-child-with-ADHD-Alfie-chewing-ball.mp4

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Does My Child Have ADHD? Part 1

April 4, 2016 By: admincomment

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Does My Child Have ADHD? –  Should I have Spotted it?

 

As Marissa was my first daughter I had no experience of what a “normal” child was like (if there ever is such a thing as normal!!) but now with hindsight and the benefit of things I’ve learned along the way  and the differences In my second daughter I can see that from the very beginning she was a little different.

 

Most of the differences were very small and subtle and each taken individually probably mean nothing at all but as with so many things when you put them all together and the picture grows they start to tell a different story.

 

And you think to yourself – should I have spotted it sooner?

 

Because I’m ashamed to say that it wasn’t until Marissa was at the point (aged 8) of wanting to die by falling out of an upstairs window that things came to a head….and the Dr referred us to the children’s mental health services.

 

You can watch a quick video on this here or click on the picture below.

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD, Does my child have ADHD

 

I was heartbroken and felt like a failure as a parent, and being a good parent was all I’d ever really wanted to be.

 

So you can imagine how that made me feel!!

 

But then, I didn’t know anything about ADHD back then let alone parenting a child with ADHD!!

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Does My Child Have ADHD?  -What are the Signs of ADHD?

 

Couple that with having no previous child to compare Marissa with.

 

So I guess I had no reason to suspect that all these minor signs were anything other than normal.

 

So what were these signs that I was parenting a child with ADHD that popped up over the years?

 

Let’s have a think…

 

One of the first signs was her sleep problems.

 Parenting a Child with ADHD, Does my Child have ADHD

She was never a good sleeper and I know many children suffer from this when babies but to this day she still has sleep problems now aged 11.

 

I remember the very first night she was born and I half-slept all night with my arm in her cot and her tiny hand was curled around my forefinger it clenching me tight the whole night through….a memory I’ll never forget and that gives me goose bumps from a heart bursting with love even as I type this now.

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Does My Child Have ADHD? – What Helped?

 

I read book after book trying all sorts of routines suggested by the experts….

 

Sleep deprivation is a killer!!!

 

Especially as, at 39, I was no spring chicken to have my first newborn!!

 

We tried everything when she was a baby but the 4 hourly sleep/feed pattern was never any more than 3 hours and that was good for her.

 Parenting a Child with ADHD, Does my Child have ADHD

Much as I didn’t like them, I even tried a dummy or soother as they are now called.

 

I was desperate to get her to sleep so I was willing to try ANYTHING!!!

 

But even if I help it there for a bit she’d just spit it out.

 

And she didn’t just gently push it out – I could feel her forcing it out pushing hard against me as I tried to gently but firmly hold it in place!!!

 

Finally I came upon one book by Tracey Hodge, the Baby Whisperer, which recommended the E-A-S-Y method of setting up a routine

– but it was FAR FROM EASY!!

 

It Stood For:-

 

Eat – ie feed your baby

Activity – play with your baby

Sleep – Put your baby up for a nap

You – “You time” (What’s THAT??) You have time to yourself whilst your baby sleeps.

 

 

I have to say that although it was the best of the many things I tried there certainly wasn’t an awful lot of the “You time”!!

Parenting a Child with ADHD - Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

Click Here to Get this Brilliant Book

The book by Tracey Hogg the baby whisperer had tons of tips in and you can find it here….but when you’re parenting a child with ADHD you’ll realise that ADHD babies don’t sleep well whatever you try.

 

As a last resort I spent one desperate night sitting with my head in my hands sobbing away as I listened to my beautiful baby sobbing away upstairs and hard as it was I made myself allow her to cry herself to sleep.

 

She did learn to suck her thumb after that so it did help a bit with the sleeping but it was a really tough night and it didn’t end there.

 

 

As she’s grown older we’ve had to try all sorts to help her sleep…..

 

Lavender on the pillows – no good the smell was “too strong” for her.

 

Relaxation Techniques – no good – can’t concentrate on them/gets distracted.

 

White Noise – we tried an un-tuned radio for the crackling sound and ended up settling with the fan – we still have a fan on at night in her room even in the coldest weather.

 Parenting a Child with ADHD, Does my child have ADHD - Lavender

Relaxing Music – does help but we still have to have it on most nights even now.

 

Reading before sleep – either she can’t concentrate or gets so engrossed that she forgets the time and stays awake too long…

 

Binaural rhythm music to help her brain get into the sleep brainwave helps but she got bored of using that too.

 

Well the sleep problems were just the first thing.

 

I’ll go into some of the others in my next post as the demands of parenting a child with ADHD are calling me again and time has run out for now….

 

Speak soon, and if you have any questions or need any help then reach out to me on my facebook page here (Please like my page if these posts resonate with you) or by private message to my personal page here (best to friend request me first or it might get filtered).

 

You can also click here to send me a direct email.

 

Signing off for now but please share your thoughts below – I promise to respond to all comments.

 

Please also share this post with anyone you think it may help.

 

Sending Love and Hugs to you all

 

Mrs P (Sandra)
 x x x 
http://ParentingachildwithADHD.com

 

If you missed my last post you can click here to find it.

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Surviving Parenting a Child with ADHD

March 5, 2016 By: admin8 Comments

Me, Sabrina, Marissa & Graham

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Surviving Parenting a Child with ADHD – Welcome

 

Hi there! It’s Mrs P here – but you can call me Sandra. I’ve never been much of a one for formality!! And this is my family. Graham, Marissa (the big one with ADHD) & Sabrina.

 

Welcome to my blog.

 

I suspect you may have landed here as you are looking for answers about parenting a child with ADHD?

 

Here in this blog I aim to share my daily life as a mother parenting a child with ADHD in the hope of helping others coping with the same struggles to know that they are not alone.

 

I aim to share the struggles, the feelings, the joys, the disappointments, the pain, the challenges, the triumphs, the frustrations, the heartache, the funny side and the fight to support and help my daughter.

 

I also want to bring awareness about the effects it has on the whole family as well because it does affect everyone…

 

….not just the mother and the child concerned.

 

This is a Mother’s First Hand Account.

 

I hope you’ll enjoy reading….

 

 

Parenting a Child with ADHD | Surviving Parenting a Child with ADHD – The Beginning

 

Looking back to when I was 12 years old, I used to spend as much time as possible in my neighbour’s house playing with her small babies and babysitting them whenever I could.

 

I wished for the day I could become a Mum myself.

 

I never really knew what I wanted to do for a job when I grew up but I definitely had a dream of becoming a mum and living happily ever after.

 

Little did I know how difficult it would be when it finally happened at the age of 39….

 

…but then I didn’t realise back then that I’d be parenting a child with ADHD.

 

And even as I hear myself saying that it’s been difficult, I am filled full of guilt at feeling that way because it seems ungrateful….

 

Being a parent is a miraculous gift and I know only too well that some people are not lucky enough to be given the opportunity.

 

To those people who want to have children but for whatever reason can’t, my heart goes out to you.

 

Because however difficult parenting a child with ADHD has been for me I truly know how lucky I am to have my two gorgeous daughters and I am endlessly grateful that I have been blessed with the gift of sharing my life with them and my wonderful husband.

 

And that guilt I feel when I say that family life can be difficult when parenting a child with ADHD is part of the reason I’m writing this blog.

Parenting a Child With ADHD

I can’t be the only parent of a child with ADHD who sometimes struggles with the challenges it presents and the guilt of feeling it’s difficult….

 

….struggles to keep calm when there’s a deadline to meet to get to school or work on time and your child has taken 50 minutes to complete two five minute tasks when she even has a 10 minute timer to help her focus on the task and the timescale to do it in.

 

…struggles to find incentives to motivate your child to get things done when they can’t keep the rewards in mind long enough to focus on the goal.

 

…struggles when your child gets so upset and sobs her heart out because she’s really really been trying to concentrate but the more she tries the harder it is because her frontal lobes shut down when she tries too hard.

 

They say it helps to write things down to help you deal with your feelings.

 

So I thought writing this blog will help me do that and if JUST ONE OTHER PERSON who’s struggling with parenting a child with ADHD just like me were to stumble upon it whilst looking for help online one day, then hopefully they will know they’re not alone.

 

And if that person is you and you want to get in touch, please know that I am real and would love to chat.

 

Check out my facebook page here, or you can friend request and message me on my personal page here.

 

You can even email me here.

 

Sending you love and hugs ….because if you are that person you probably need them!!

 

 

Mrs P (Sandra)

Love & Hugs 

 x x x 

 

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